Tarot Jokes

[WillowsHeart]

A few to start off with! Please feel free to share your favourite ones. Hope they at least raise a smile

[WillowsHeart]

An oldie but a goodie

Q: How many Major Arcana does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: All of them:

• The Fool has already started before anyone else is ready.
• The Magician assembles an array of objects that might be needed , displays them to best advantage and starts discussing how to go about it.
• The High Priestess sits in the background, knowing one thing is missing but says nothing.
• The Empress fusses around making sure it is safe and nobody gets hurt.
• The Emperor tells everyone he thinks it should be done right now and starts delegating responsibilities.
• The Hierophant offers advice on the missing part after consulting with the High Priestess.
• The Lovers umm and ahh about what wattage bulb to put in this time.
• The Chariot charges in and starts doing it himself regardless of the others' protests.
• Strength surreptitiously places what's needed into Chariot's hands and gets it done her way.
• The Hermit suggests a candle in a lamp would provide light in the meantime.
• The Wheel of Fortune laughs and reminds everyone that the light will need changing again in the future.
• Justice works out whose turn it is to change the light and whether the division of labour is being delegated fairly.
• The Hanged Man sits back and contemplates how darkness can change our lives.
• Death points out mournfully that this was bound to happen and how everything ends.
• Temperance tells Death to chill out, it all evens up in the end.
• The Devil tries to blame the Hanged Man for causing the light to blow and creates bad feelings all round.
• The Tower suddenly starts ripping out the original light fitting so he can create a whole new more basic look.
• The Star marvels at new beginnings and says how much she's looking forward to having the light working again.
• The Moon continually offers conflicting advice, confusing everyone until he wanders off to the relief of all.
• The Sun wants to redesign the whole room around a much brighter light.
• Judgement examines the globe to see whether it truly was its time to blow and ponders whether the globe can be recycled.
• The World suggests that any problems with the light are temporary: we had light once, we will have it again, and suggests focussing on the bigger picture.

Meanwhile, the Fool has already finished changing the light bulb and is off doing his own thing.

© 1999 Serena Powers serenapowers.com

[WillowsHeart]

Dawn visited a psychic of some local repute. In a dark and gloomy room, gazing at the tarot cards laid out before her, the tarot reader delivered the bad news:

"There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt - prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."

Visibly shaken, Dawn stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself.

She simply had to know. She met the tarot reader's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked:

"Will I get away with it?"

[WillowsHeart]

"I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met." - Steven Wright

[Seamonster]

Those are great! I can always use a good laugh! Thank you!

[Ruthy]

very nice!! thanks for sharing,
blessing, Ruthy,